


maybe we're just this mess but it works for me

by sugdensrobert



Series: imagine a world like that [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, aaron wants to be with robert really that's the fic, mention of dr alex but he's irrelevant, the xmas episode but different
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:22:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23298484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert
Summary: robert gets hit by a car on christmas eve and aaron's made the decision he no longer wants to be without his (ex)husbandor, the christmas episode but different
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Series: imagine a world like that [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675510
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	maybe we're just this mess but it works for me

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was inspired by a prompt i got over on tumblr and i decided to add it to a new series i've started where i basically take canon events but change them (basically so i can put robert and aaron together wow who would have thought)  
> i hope you enjoy this !

He shouldn’t be here, he knows that but there is no way he can bring himself to go home now. He feels bad because he’s not anything is he? He’d reassured Diane and Vic that he’d keep him company as if he still matters, as if he’s still something to the man lying in front of him. Aaron sighs, closing his eyes against it all- this whole mess, the fact that the man he loves so much is lying in a hospital bed because he got hit by car. He feels sick, wishing he could turn back time- wishing he’d just gone after Robert. He knew he was upset but he’d just let him walk out of the pub, upset and alone and now he’s in hospital.

“Please wake up Rob- please.”

Robert’s stable, according to the doctors but Aaron wants to see it with his own eyes. Maybe Robert doesn’t even want him here, why would he? Aaron gulps and blinks the tears away. He watches the door, hopes that Alex will have finished his shift. He’s a coward, he knows he’s being unfair but there’s only space in his head for Robert now. He’ll talk to Alex- his boyfriend- later and he will tell him the truth, that he knows what he wants, that he has always known. He just hopes Robert wants the same- if he wakes up that is.

“Hey you- I know you deserve a rest but please let me say hello properly first eh?” He grabs Robert’s hand once more and squeezes it lightly before resting their intertwined hands back on the bed. Aaron feels tears rolling down his cheek. Diane and Vic will be back any minute and Aaron just wants to be alone with Robert. It’s selfish because part of him feels like he doesn’t really deserve to be here now but he can’t leave- can’t face going home to a decorated house when the love of his life is struggling so much.

Suddenly Aaron senses movement and his heart drops, prays that Robert’s still stable- Aaron quickly realises that he is. He feels Robert’s fingers twitching and watches how the older man is trying to open his eyes.

“Hey- hey Rob. You’re alright, it’s all going to be fine I promise.” Aaron wants to touch but tries to stop himself from doing so, not wanting to spook Robert.

Robert has his eyes open, Aaron watches him looking around slowly- his eyes roaming the room before landing on him. Aaron struggles to breathe.

Robert looks so confused it hurts. Aaron wants to run all of a sudden, scared to cause Robert even more pain and worry.

“Aaron?”

“You’re alright” Aaron repeats, blinking quickly. “I’ll get a nurse yeah? And Vic and Diane are here as well. I’ll let them know you’re awake.” He stands up clumsily, wanting nothing more than to kiss Robert’s forehead or run a hand through his hair- instead he just touches the older man’s arm before walking out and not looking back.

***

His coffee’s gone cold. He has no idea how long it’s been, has hardly noticed the concerned looks from various hospital staff. He’s just been staring at the door and thinking the worst.

“Aaron?” It’s Vic, a frown on her face.

“Pet, have you been here this whole time, you should have come in.” Diane says.

“Are you leaving him?” Aaron says- hates the thought of Robert being in there alone.

“No, we’re just going out for some fresh air, he’s sleeping again.”

“Is he ok?”

“He’s doing better. He’s mostly tired and confused.” Vic sighs “Aaron what are you doing here? He’s asked after you. I told him you were just worried- but I thought you would have gone home by now. You’re with Alex.”

“Victoria” Diane warns.

“Well I’m sorry but he’s confused, especially after last night.”

Aaron squeezes his eyes shut, once again thinking of Robert drunk and upset.

“Aaron was just worried weren’t you pet? I know you care about him.”

Aaron wants to scream

“Care?! Of course I care about him Diane I-“

“You what Aaron?” Vic says, pleading for him to just say it.

“Can I go in?” Aaron says instead, wiping his eyes with his sleeves. He looks up and sees Diane looking sad, Vic with tears in her eyes.

“Aaron” she goes to sit next to him, pulling him into a side hug. “Go sit with him yeah? But-“

“But what?”

“Don’t break his heart.”

“I promise I won’t Vic. I’m going to tell him the truth, if he’s ready for it. I don’t want to upset him, he needs rest.”

“He needs you.” Vic reassures.

****

He’s back watching Robert again but it’s better now because Aaron knows he’s doing well- that he’s just sleeping.

He hasn’t worked out what he’s going to say yet all he knows is that he wants to tell Robert everything- however messy. He just hopes Robert wants to hear it.

He’s feeling sleepy himself now he’s less anxious and scared about Robert. He rests his head on the bed- drifts off.

***

“You’re back again” he hears and when he looks up he finds Robert staring at him, eyes shiny.

“I didn’t leave, just sat outside” Aaron mumbles.

“Aaron, why?” Robert’s frowning again, Aaron wants to smooth the frown away.

“Because I-“

“What Aaron?” Robert sounds patient, hopeful and Aaron decides to go for it.

“I want to be here. I want to be someone who cares about you- cares for you.”

“But-“ Robert splutters but Aaron isn’t finished yet.

“No- not like that of course I’ve always cared about you I just mean- Rob I don’t want to be your ex anymore.” It comes out as a sob and Robert looks shocked.

“You’re with Alex.”

“Yeah- I know and I will talk to him, I will end it because I know this is unfair to him. But Rob I’m sure about you, I only want you. I never ever want to see you hurt again like last night and feel that it isn’t my place to help you anymore. Or sit by your side in hospital not knowing if I belong there.”

Robert reaches out and Aaron grabs his hand immediately, holds it to his chest.

“Are you sure about this?” Robert whispers, insecurity radiating off him.

“Yeah I promise Rob, I am sure.” He knows Robert, knows he’s scared that Aaron will be gone in the morning- Christmas morning.

“ _Can I stay with you?”_ He asks softly, pressing Robert’s hand to his face.

“You can stay with me. I want you to stay with me.” Robert answers, finally smiling properly and Aaron realises how much he’s missed that gorgeous smile.

“I’m not going anywhere. It’s Christmas tomorrow Rob, and I promise I’m going to make sure we have the best day yeah?”

“Don’t deserve you” Robert mumbles drowsily.

“You do Rob- you do.” Aaron kisses his forehead gently. There’s still a lot to sort out, a lot to talk about. And then there’s Alex but that’s tomorrow’s problem. All Aaron wants now is to be there for Robert, look after him.

It’s a struggle, especially now the older man is half asleep again, but Aaron manages to lie next to Robert somewhat, occupying just a small part of the bed. He doesn’t mind. He finally feels like he belongs again.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! come say hi on tumblr @sugdenssrobert


End file.
